Halwa Hai Kya?

I’m shifting schools in 11th grade.

Not moving cities. Not changing countries. Just a different building. New uniforms, new teachers, unfamiliar corridors.
On paper, it’s nothing.
But in my heart? It feels like everything’s about to change.

Because what do you do when the reason school feels like home… doesn’t come with you to that new building?

I didn’t walk into 8th grade hunting for soul sisters.
I wasn’t looking for forever people.
But somewhere between those stupid inside jokes, crushing over boys, floor-laughing fits, fight-patchups, and panic-before-exam meltdowns, I found them. And without even realising it, they became home.

So yeah, I’m shifting schools.
But these girls?
They’re not just in my memories of school.
They are the memories.
They are the magic.
They are school.
They are home.

Sandhya was the first one who made Ahmedabad feel less like I'm being uprooted and more like a peaceful, long vacation that never ends.

She’s not the hugs-and-heartfelt-talks kind. In fact, if you tried that, she’d probably make a face and walk away. She'll never say "tu karlegi bas dimaag shaant rakh", but god, does she make me laugh when I least expect it and most need it. When I say she makes me laugh when my body physically doesn't remember how to smile—I mean it. She’ll walk into a conversation with the most idiotic joke or pointless gossip that suddenly feels like a lifeline. Like she’s hardwired to know when to bring the chaos that saves you. 

We’ve fought. Boy, have we fought. Big ones. The kind that makes you want to block someone forever. We’ve had the dramatic “never talking to her again” moments. But then we’ve had those quiet, unsaid patch-ups too—the “you’re still my idiot” kind. And I don’t care how much she annoys me (and trust me, she does), or how chaotic and impulsive and maddening she is, she’s mine. A piece of my teenage life that cannot be replaced. She annoys the hell out of me, but also makes every hard moment feel like maybe it won’t break me. I owe her more than I say.

She doesn’t always say the right thing. But she’s there. Loud, dramatic, mad, and real. And I’ll miss her more than I know how to say.

Rashi, on the other hand, is my therapist, my rock, my walking-talking manual of how to deal with life. She is the kind of friend who doesn't just listen—she hears. All of it. Every word. Every unsaid thing between the lines.  The “I know what you’re feeling even when you don’t say it” kind. She’s the only one who can talk me down from my irrational delusions and support them just enough so I can daydream for a bit. It’s a beautiful chaos. She’ll call me out when I’m being stupid, but she’ll also write out maths steps, explain them, and share notes while sitting beside me till I stop crying. 

She’s also the girl who teases me endlessly about my crushes and ships me with the weirdest, most random people, but somehow also makes me feel worthy of love even when I don’t feel it myself. She sees me. In a way, most people don’t. In every practical breakdown, in every study panic, in every "I don't feel good enough" moment—she is my saviour. There are days when she’s my logic. There are days when she’s my support system. But every day, she’s my constant. She is my platonic soulmate. My waifu, the girlfriend that I'd kill men for! I don’t know how I’ll survive long boring eco classes without her constant double meanings, dark humour, paper eating and brutally honest advice. She’s one of the best things school ever gave me.

And I don’t know how to do life, let alone school, without her.

I've known Durva for two years. Just two. And I don’t even remember life without her anymore. Gadhi ki energy is… magic. She is chaotic, hilarious, adorable, messy, and also insanely intelligent. She's the kind of person who will trip over her own foot while solving a physics problem no one else in the room understands. She’ll giggle like a child at something dumb, and two seconds later, offer the most comforting, grown-up advice about life. 

She’s brought me extra hummus after once telling her that I love it. She’s the girl who made a code name list with me that consists of the people we wanna say "fuck off" to. (That list, it dies with us 🤪). She and I'll scream over how hot Henry Cavill is, obsess over book boyfriends, remind each other that we have this waiting for us, talk about Tom Cruise like he’s our actual boyfriend, and still somehow she'll be the one who teaches me math "functions" before an exam. She’s funny and unfiltered, and real. She helps without ever making you feel like you owe her. She remembers things I forget about myself. And in the most casual, unintentional way, she became a piece of my heart that I’ll never be able to un-love.

Navya is proof that people change. That hate can turn into a kind of love that’s rare. Because in grade 5? I hated her guts, the way she was, the people she hung out with, literally all of her. She was the Regina George of my life—pink, popular, scary, too cool to talk to, and I honestly couldn’t stand her. But then something happened. One random morning in 8th grade, we sat down and talked over brekkie. Laughed. And just like that, she was in. And now, 2 years later, I look at her and think: how did I ever live without her? I don't remember life without her, and I never want to. 

She is my hypewoman. My emotional twin. My serotonin in human form. She hypes me up on everything—from a random selfie to a breakdown to a dumb reel I make. She sends me the most insane, platonically romantic, thought-out messages on birthdays, festivals, and on every friendship day that make me cry every single year. She notices the little things—like my mood changing when a certain name is mentioned, or when I overthink a text. She'll never fail to remind me how lucky she is to have me, when the truth of the matter is I am the lucky one.  She’s fiercely loyal. She'll stand up for me before I can even register a reply. Her humour is so sharp, her sarcasm so on-point, and her presence so loud that without her, a room feels quieter than it should. She is the Chandler to my Monica and the Monica to my Chandler! She's the person who'll spend hours replying to reels I send, roast the guys I like till I stop crushing. She's my accounts partner, my confidante, my laughter, and the love letter I never wrote to myself. She’s love. That’s all. Pure, unconditional, true love!

They say you meet your forever people in college.
I think I met mine at 13, sharing chips in class and laughing till we couldn’t breathe.

They fixed places in me that they didn’t even know were broken.

These girls—my girls—came in like a quiet miracle. And I’m so freakin’ grateful for all four of them.

They made life easier.
They make life easier.
And I know they always will.

Shifting schools didn’t seem like such a big deal on paper—I wasn’t switching cities or countries or entire lives. But when I think of them, of what we’ve been through and who they are to me, I realise they deserve to be out here. To be seen. To be celebrated. Because of what they’ve done for me? It’s been everything.

After what felt like years of floating around trying to belong, I found them.
My tribe.
The kind of girls who’d never judge me.
Who would never, ever tolerate crap being said about me behind my back.
And the kind who’d look me in the eye, raise a brow, and say “shut the fuck up and get over yourself” when I was being irrational.

They’ve held me with honesty.
Loved me with madness.
And accepted me with zero edits.

I guess the universe had this in store for me all along. It was all waiting for me down on the street, and I didn’t even know.
And now? I can’t imagine doing life without them.

I need them. Every weekend. Every voice note. Every second.
Even when we’re not talking for days—because we’re busy or tired or just spaced out—I know nothing’s changed. Nothing ever will change.

This kind of bond isn’t breakable.
It doesn’t fade.
It just is.

So yeah. Tearful bye-byes and long hugs are happening.
But I love you to absolute infinity and beyond, and to frealkin death. You are everything good. Everything real.

(P.S. mumma cried reading your reactions when I told you I'm shifting. 💀)

As ever,

Ambika